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Hash FAQ

What if I can't keep up?
I get this question (or some form of it) *all the time* from newcummers. Listen, we are hashers. We are the lowest form of runner. If all the various running/athletic clubs in the world had a relay race, the Hash team would be dead fucking last (DFL!) every single time. But we’d also have the most fun on the way to the finish line, if we were even able to find it. Yes, we have some fast people, but we also have plenty of slower people, and the whole point of the hash is to have them run a trail that ensures everyone reaches the checkpoints at roughly the same time – no one gets left behind. So let me explain in a lot of words exactly how this works. Generally, about 2 people (the hares) lay a trail of chalk and flour that leads to beer/liquor/refreshments, and it is up to everyone else (the hounds) to follow the trail in order to find the beer. The trail will involve some marks that specifically cause the faster runners to lose the trail. For example, a “check” means the trail can go in any direction from that point, and there are a lot of them on trail. So the first few people to the check have to spread out and guess which way the trail goes (the true trail will have 3 marks after the check). By the time they figure out which way it goes and mark the correct direction, the slower people may have caught up and will just skip straight to the true trail. There are plenty of other marks that serve a similar function and really only slow down the front running bastards (FRBs!). "Race-ist" behavior is even discouraged by making our FRB drink at the end and carry a special trophy with them on the next hash. And if you’re still having trouble keeping up, one or several other hashers will hang back with you – no problem.

How long are the trails?
Our trails are usually 3-6 miles, with the average being closer to 4. There is a lot of stopping on the way.  Within about every 2 miles there will be some sort of stop with beer or shots or something (and usually water) where everyone will regroup, so even if you walk, you’re never that far behind. Once everyone is there and you’ve had a chance to down a beverage (if you so choose), we’ll take off on the next leg of the trail until we get to the end where much more drinking takes place.

How long does a hash last?
It really depends on the hares, the length of the trail they lay, and how many stops are along the way. On average, a trail usually lasts about 2-3 hours start to finish. After the hash, we’ll usually hang out at a nearby bar for several more hours.

What's a Full Moon Hash?
Full Moon Hashes are generally run at night on the Thursday closest to the full moon.  The only real difference is that they are usually shorter (closer to 3-4 miles), so they won't last quite as long because people have shit to do Friday. For no good reason other than tradition, they are titled after the names old European settlers gave to each month's full moon.  It generally does not correspond to a theme, so no need to show up to the Full Beaver Moon Hash dressed as a beaver.

Do I have to run? Can I walk?
Most of our hashers run here, although some kennels are more of a 50/50 split of runners/walkers. If you can maintain a pace just barely over a speed walk between stops, you will keep up just fine. If you want to walk, let us know beforehand. Usually the trails will keep you decently close to the runners anyway, but we will often lay a “turkey trail” for our walkers, which usually just shortcuts the “eagle trail” at some point to get you caught up.

Do I have to drink?
At no point will you be forced or coerced to drink (some hashers don't drink at all). However, it is of course encouraged at certain points; after all, we are known as a “drinking club with a running problem”. Water is almost always available at our stops if you just don’t want alcohol.

Wait, you drink BEFORE you run!?
Yep! Some drink before, during, and after. But how much and when you drink is totally up to you. You may be surprised, but running with a little booze in your belly really isn't bad at all (in fact, many of us prefer it to boring old sober running).

What if I don’t drink beer?
Our coolers are generally stocked with 3 things: beer, cider, and water. If you don’t/can’t drink any of those, you’ll have to supply your own (some hashers in other kennels bring those mini bottles of liquor or wine with them). Sorry, but we do not take individual requests to stock our coolers with drinks you like, nor do we reimburse you for bringing your own. That’s just too complicated and expensive.

What is Hash Cash and how much do I owe?
Virgins (first timers) and hares hash for free. Everyone else pays $7 Hash Cash before each hash to pay for beer, cider, water, and other hash related expenses (e.g. our Meetup group costs $180 per year).

What should I expect my first time?
Lots of drinking and NSFW conversation, songs, words, etc. Also a fun time.

What’s the general demographic? Will I fit in?
We welcome everyone over 21, regardless of demographic, as long as you're not an asshole. On *average*, FUCH3rs tend to be in their late twenties/early thirties, but we also have people closer to 21, as well as people much older than that. We are mostly grad students and working professionals, with a decent split of men/women (speaking of decent splits... something about your mom). We are a very open/tolerant group and welcome all ages, races, religions, LGBTQ people, etc. Hatred, racism, violence, intolerance, sexism, homophobia, or any form of discrimination is not welcome here. But if you’re super-duper religious/can’t take a joke/easily offended, you might not enjoy our group.

What's with the weird nicknames?
The premise behind the Hash House Harriers was largely to allow military officers to drink and exercise with their subordinates. Using aliases allowed them to do so by giving them "plausible deniability" since they would not know the actual name/rank of their fellow Hashers. Here (and in most non-military locations), Hash Names are just a tradition, a rite of passage, and a means of maintaining some level of anonymity. They are assigned by your fellow Hashers in recognition of an embarrassing story, accomplishment, character flaw, etc. and are rarely "safe for work." We generally will not consider naming you until you’ve been to at least 5 hashes and hared a trail. Until you are assigned a name, you are known as "Just [your first name]".

Some hash terms and other things hashers say:
RU?! – Yelled by a hasher to check whether another is on trail (i.e. seeing marks).
On-One! – The hasher has found one mark after a check.
On-Two! – The hasher has found two marks after a check.
On-On! – The hasher has found 3 marks and, presumably, the true trail.
On-Out – The start of the trail.
On-In – The end of the trail.
On-After – The after-party location.
FRB – Front Running Bastard (first person in)
DFL – Dead Fucking Last (last person in)
Kennel – What a local "chapter" of HHH is known as.
Hare – A person laying the trail.
Hound – Everyone following the trail.
Nerd Name – A hasher's real name.
Turkey Trail – A shorter, easier trail laid for walkers.
Eagle Trail – The standard shitty runner trail.
Live Trail - Hares are laying the trail "live" with a h*ad start
Dead Trail - Hares laid the whole trail before the hash started
Trail types:
    A-A - trail ends where it started.
    A-A' - trail ends within reasonable walking distance of the start.
    A-B - trail ends far from the start; additional transportation plans might be necessary.